I became an atheist this morning. The experience was similar, though less overwhelming, than the moment i became a Christian five years ago. The declaration was immediately accompanied with a wave of relief, and my anxiety was quelled. It was as though knowing there was only me in that moment removed any yearning for an answer to God’s absence. Suddenly, there was no absence to obsess over, no voice to not hear, and no love to not feel—i settled peacefully in my own little nook in this universe knowing that there was no one coming to save me. And i slept the remaining hour in an embrace of calm. The half-decade war was over, and when the dust settled i saw that i had been alone.